Hope, Life's Necessary Little Ingredient

If I asked you to define "Hope" into words, what would you say?  Myself, I'd have to answer "it's something you can't see, but feel..a belief in a positive outcome".  A more "clinical" answer  may say that it is distinct from positive thinking, referring toa therapeutic or systematic process used in psychology for reversing pessimism.  So, why am I not sold on that definition?  I think it's because hope is as unique to me as it is to each and every person.

When Barack Obama was still a senator yet vying for office of the President of the United States he wrote a book "The Audacity of Hope."  People must have bought into it because it became a bestseller on the New York Times List and was endorsed by none other than Oprah Winfrey.  The title of the book, Obama stated, was from a sermon delivered by his favorite pastor, Jeremiah Wright, and his pastor was inspired to name his sermon "Hope" from a GF Watts painting, the subject of the painting described as "with her clothes in rags, her body scarred and bruised and bleeding, her harp all but destroyed and with only one string left, she had the audacity to make music and praise God...in other words, to take the one string you have left and to have the audacity to hope, which is the real word of God." 

I have not read Obama's book, I merely wondered if the title of the book struck a chord amongst millions of people who had..lost hope.  All politicians, especially those vying for public office seem to include the word "hope" in their speeches, and for good reason, too.  In the face of our economy, mortgages in default, job loss..hope is sometimes all that we have left.  I'm not sure that politicians can deliver on the definition of hope and I'm pretty sure many people will say it's government that has influenced hope (or lack thereof) with current economic status.  Maybe hope should be a sacred term used only when a politician is intent upon a "positive outcome actually occurring."

A famous Benjamin Franklin quote reads.. "I hope...that mankind will at length, as they call themselves reasonable creatures, have reason and sense enough to settle their differences without cutting throats; for in my opinion there never was a good war, or a bad peace."  I'm pretty sure he was referring the state of the union at that time, yet his words are still relevant today even though the same wars are not being fought, they are different ones.

Adversity transcends time and is everywhere; it cannot be escaped.   Hope says to adversity, "so why not try to figure out a way to use adversity for your own advantage"?

Emily Dickinson wrote a poem about hope, it goes like this:

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson defines hope by comparing it to a bird - which, if my English Class had any impact at all, means this is a metaphor.  Hope is a "thing" because it is a feeling. When she talks about the bird "singing", the tune is "without words"...Is hope a matter of words or is it a feeling about the future, a feeling which consists of both desire and expectation.  Psychologically, is it true that hope never fails us, that hope is always possible?  I think Emily Dickinson was trying to describe hope using  a poem much like songwriters and authors have done throughout time.  Sometimes, a reminder of what hope is, even through the a poem or a song is enough to restore it within our souls.

I've yet to find a definition that is compact and completely clear.  Most definitions are thought out references of where hope has been written about in a book, sung about in a song, rhymed in a poem or exemplified in life experience.   I remember a book I read called "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.  If you have read the book, you know that this was written initially for his children to remember him by.  Yet, along the way, he did something really unique.  He inspired each of us with his story by sharing everything he was going through and the things life taught him (or didn't teach him) along the way.  He was dying from pancreatic cancer, he knew he wouldn't survive, yet I really believe that he held onto hope and faith regardless of the outcome.  I wondered to myself, how did he hold onto hope when he knew he would not survive?   I mean, he was an engineer and engineers need science and theory to back up every theorum.  So, it seems that Hope is a real entity necessary in the lives of each and every one of us, yet I am no better at describing hope to you.  I can only point it out and reference it as it permeates everyday life and is present in countless aspects of popular culture phenomenon such as jokes, fairy tales, politics and daily life.

I googled Hope and found it is the Seal of Rhode Island and features an anchor below the word "Hope", the state motto.  This is taken from a Biblical passage in Hebrews 6:19(1).
1 Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; The King James Version.

Wiki recommends "See Also" - Chance (disambiguation), Disappointment, Fear, Optimism, Risk, unrequited love, Statue of Hope.   I could google away all day on the topic of hope, but it seems to draw me to site after site of references to Hope without an actual, concrete definition.  Or maybe, just maybe, I'm looking for an answer that suits me...maybe I aready know the answer and I don't realize it. 

I definitely think that hope is some positive outcome (whether we see it that way at the time or not) predicated on uncertainty.  It is a word that describes a feeling of being unsure about a current circumstance and then essentially desiring an outcome that is good.  Hope is based on faith, hope and faith are almost interchangeable.  Faith is more "now" and hope describes "positive outcomes based on our fears".  To be left without hope leaves us feeling deflated and without purpose.  Faith is the knowing peace that the outcome is for the better, again whether we see the reason at the time we may not know.  Hope is an idea that is spread through an understanding that one one is perfectly sure there is a sound outcome to their situations.  Hope is a destination, so to speak, rather than an actuality.  This is about as close as I can come to describing hope in my own words.  Hope and Faith - you cannot see them, they are like the breeze blowing on your face, you feel it...you just cannot tangibly see it.

I think about hope and faith a lot in my life lately.  Sometimes, hope and faith are the most tangible things we have.  Each of us has had moments in our lives where we have felt hopeless at one time or another and my wish is that these moments are few and far between.   The holidays are fast approaching.  I think each of us has the capability to provide a definition of "hope" in someone's life by giving.  I don't mean financially giving, I mean by passing on the spirit of the definition of hope, which clearly is undefined as a whole, yet is present in each of our lives as much as faith.  Are random acts of kindness hope and faith? I don't know the answer myself, but I think each and every one of us holds a unique definition of hope with faith and that we have the ability to inspire that in those around us, each and every day if we choose to.  Adversity is everywhere; it cannot be escaped...so why not try to figure a way to use adversity for your own advantage?  I think I'd rather hear a policitican say those words in a campaign speech instead of using Hope to tease us into thinking they can provide us with the answer, because, in the end, they cannot...but we can.

Thanksgiving 2010

http://www.holidays.net/thanksgiving/Throughout history mankind has celebrated harvest with thanksgiving celebrations.  Long ago, many ancient farmers believed their crops contained "spirits" which caused their crops to grow and then die.  Many also believed that these spirits would be released when the crops were harvested or they would take revenge on the farmers who harvested them.  Some harvest festivals were to celebrate defeat of these spirits.

The ancient Greeks worshipped many gods and goddesses and their goddess of grain was Demeter who was honored at the festival of Thesmosphoria held each autum.  Possibly connecting childbearing and raising of crops, many women would build leafy shelters and furnish them with couches made with plants.  They would feast on the second day and on the third day a feast was offered to the goddess Demeter including gifts of seed corn, cakes and fruit.  It was hoped that this gratitude would grant them a good harvest.

The Romans celebrate harvest time with a festival called Cerelia honoring Ceres their goddess of grains (hence the term cereal).  These celebrations would include music, parades as well as games and sports concluding with a thanksgiving feast.

The ancient Chinese celebrated a harvest festival called Chung Ch'ul with the full moon and this fell on the 15th day of the 8th month.  This day is considered the birthday of the moon whereby special "mooncakes" were made (round and yellow like the moon).  Each cake was stamped with a picture of a rabbit, as it was a rabbit, not a man, which the Chinese saw on the face of the moon.

According to legend, Chung Ch'ui also gave thanks for another special occasion.  China had been conquered by enemy armies who took control of the Chinese homes and food.  The Chinese found themselves homeless and with no food.

In the United States, in 1621, after a hard and devastating first year in the New World the Pilgrim's fall harvest was very successful and plentiful.   There was corn, fruits, vegetables, along with fish which was packed in salt and meat that was smoke cured over fires.  They found they had enough food to put away for the winter.

The Pilgrims beat the odds.  They built homes in the wilderness, raised enough crops to keep them alive during a long winter and were at peace with their Indian neighbors.  Their Governor, William Bradford, proclaimed a day of thanksgiving that was to be shared by all the colonists and the neighboring Native American Indians.

In 1817 New York State adopted Thanksgiving Day as an annual custom.  By the middle of the 19th century many other states also celebrated a Thanksgiving Day.  In 1863 President Abraham Lincoln appointed a national day of thanksgiving.  Since then, each president has issued a Thanksgiving Day proclamation, usually designating the fourth Thursday of each November as the holiday.

Well...a little Thanksgiving History and traditions of other countries.  Myself, I plan to lay on the couch and watch football all afternoon after I've sufficiently stuffed myself on an inordinate amount of food at my mom's house with my family.  We will all give thanks for our blessings, for those who are no longer with us at the table this year and celebrate those who are.  It's also a time for strategizing the Christmas Holidays and shopping for the day after Thanksgiving.  I can't say I'll be one of those up at dawn to fight the lines at Target and Walmart, but I will probably shop online as much as I can.  Wishing all of you a blessed and safe Thanksgiving Holiday.

The Things We Learn From Our Children...Like How To Flip A Booger

It's true, if you live long enough (or have kids) you're going to hear and see just about everything..nothing surprises me anymore, but certain things do make me laugh and I think it's those things that we remember the most and of course they had to have taught us something along the way.  Here are a few off of my list..

Whoever gets the front seat of the car is absolutely PIVOTAL.  Identifying the chain of command amongst children starts early.  If I had a nickel for everytime my kids piled into the car and raced to the van for the "Front Seat" position, I'd be as rich as Oprah Winfrey.  I don't know why this is...they're all at my mercy for the heater being on full blast, we fight over the automatic window controls (I saw UP), and of course the radio station...good GRIEF!  If you're wondering what the next favorite spot is...it's in the back seat, so you can kick the back of the seat of the person in front of you...oh yes, this is undeniably torture.

Boredom is the platform for ultimate creativity... I can see it perfectly in my head...all the kids are splayed out in the living room with bottles of soda and rice krispy wrappers strewn around...I think to myself, an IV of constant fluid would be more sanitary plus I wouldn't need the carpets cleaned as much, but that's probably under the classification of some type of child abuse.  Someone will inevitably conceive of the idea of flipping boogers...ultimate goal is to irritate a sister until she stomps of crying or worse yet, tags me on my cell phone with mobile uploads of the event..just in case I cannot conceive of it myself.  There's a talent to flipping boogers you know and it falls under the category of fart jokes, burping contests and other imitated bodily functions that make noise.  So, there has to be some creativity going on here amidst the boredom right?   I mean, when I was younger we sang into a spatula to some song by ABBA  like Afternoon Delight or Michael Jackson's Puppy Love.  Granted, I didn't end up a singer but I still sing into my spatula when nobody's looking.. at least the one that didn't end up stuck in the blender that is (that's a blog for another day).

Kids Will Eat What They Cook... This is true actually.  Around my house, Kraft Mac & Cheese rules like a goddess and is bought in cartons.  This includes pancakes and waffles with the invention of a waffle maker that gives you a waffle with ABC's and cookie dough sold in the tube. 

Not Everything An Older Brother Suggests Is Actually A Good Thing... Two older brothers in my household translates into a whole lot of drama on any given day.  When the boys were around 8 and 5 respectively they tied their little sister to a tree...some cowboy and indian thing, then left here there for an hour until I discovered she was missing.  I know that sounds bad, but I was working from home, trying to multi-task laundry, kids and work...things happen you know?  There's also the time one brother convinced his sister she was adopted from an orphange in Russia which is why she resembled nobody in the family (not true!).  Plus I vaguely remember ice cubes made with Kool-Aid and telling sister they were made with some toxin that would turn her the same color in 48 hours.  You get the idea..

A Day Without Doing Nothing Is A Day Wasted...  So, this one is pretty self-explanatory but for a mother's sanity, it means everything.  Just five minutes to stare at a blank, white wall can sometimes provide the necessary resolve to push on...so, every day needs just a little bit of "doing nothing" in order to be able to do "everything".

Grandma's House Is Sacred Ground Where Magical Things Happen... My kids figured out pretty early on that when things weren't going quite their way, a trudge over to Gram's house may make things better.  It doesn't help that grandma lives a few hundred yards away, that she has an endless supply of chocolate hoarded in the house just for them, a WII Fit game in the basement for endless hours of play, a willing shoulder to cry on and spill out all the "mean things mom makes them do"... (i.e., the dishes, laundry, run the sweeper)...I'm okay with this..after all, we all need a break.  I've been known to flop down on her couch more than once and vegetate as if I were 16 again.

Probably one of the most important things I've learned from the kids is forgiveness...I've seen them forgive each other, forgive friends and most of all forgive me.  Mother's are not perfect, we are human and make mistakes...it's the ultimate unconditional love.   As Thanksgiving Day approaches, enjoy a wonderful and restful holiday season and remember to give thanks...